20100218

February

My mom's tree, San Mateo, CA
4 Feb 2010
Two weeks ago, Piglet and I visited the flowering cherry my family planted at the local park in memory of my mother.  It was a chilly day (for the Bay Area) and overcast, but the tree was just pushing out its first buds of the season (top photo). On Monday, I went hiking on Mount Tamalpais in Marin with a few friends.  It is an ideal time of the year to see waterfalls along the trails, and we were also lucky enough to see the first flowers of spring in bloom, white lilies (bottom photo).

During a particularly bleak year, when the humbling and numbing experience of searching for work in a market where there is seemingly none leaves in its wake the hopeless feeling of being unproductive, unneeded, even unwanted, the first signs of renewal are especially comforting.  Perhaps there is some glimmer of hope for the future. 

During my search for employment or some untapped niche to fill, I am also taking time to pay attention to my long-neglected household duties (repairs I can't really afford now that I'm not working, grossly overgrown garden), and contemplating finding some good cause to support.  I'd thought about going to battle with the health care industry and Congress over the insurance industry's death grip on what is a failing system, at least from the consumer point of view, but that is a war I can't win and could possibly work against me in ways I can't even imagine at this point.  If anyone has a good idea, let me know...

The first lilies of the year on Mt Tamalpais
15 Feb 2010

8 comments:

  1. Ah, spring...renewal, rebirth. If only life followed that path! Sorry about your job hunt. My husband is going thru the same thing. Well, actually something to supplement the one he has that's not generating enough income. It really does mess with your head and your self-esteem, even though it's not YOU that's the problem, but the times we're living in. Like you (and Julie), I think I'll get out a book - hopefully one to enjoy as well as to use for an escape from reality!

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  2. The cherry tree is such a wonderful idea. I once planted a rambling rose bush over the spot where I buried a much loved feline and was devastated when I had to move. (Didn't think of that at the time). :(

    Spring is always a time of renewed hope and energy Rei. I'm hoping that with the coming of it you'll also find a the blossoming of new ideas and possible ventures to embark on.

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  3. Yes, first flowers of Spring. Always a hopeful sign. Most beautiful.

    Yeah, taking on health care might be a tad overwhelming. Perhaps a local group is calling for a volunteer of some sort. Could lead to something sprouting.

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  4. Thank God Spring is near. It has been a rough year on almost everyone I know, including myself. When I look back I realize just how depressed I was and just shake my head. I found a job this week tutoring reading at a nearby primary school. It is only 3 hours a day, but I think, thank God I kept my teaching certificate up.

    Make your intention and set it free to the Universe. I am sending positive energy your way!

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  5. Volunteering to help feed the homeless can give one an enlightening perspective on his/her own life.

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  6. A short escape can regenerate frazzled nerves, Linda. And reading helps me sleep!

    I'm hoping for that blossoming, too, Mila. My parents had two of our dogs buried at a pet cemetery in Napa, but that proved to be a little out of the way, so they kept the ashes of our other two dogs at home on the fireplace mantel.

    I know I would do better to focus attention on finding better local options for providing healthcare, but the system as a whole needs an overhaul so badly, Julie, that it's difficult to not become tangled in it in some way. Everything about it is skewed to enable the insurance giants to reap huge profits while stifling healthcare providers from actually providing proper care to the consumers who end up being gouged from all sides. There are some non-profits that provide low-cost or free services, but there really is no option for the middle ground.

    Thanks for the energy, MAWB, I could use it. And best of luck with the tutoring!

    Tim, I've volunteered at shelters and kitchens regularly, and while it does give one a greater appreciation for what one has, it can also make one more jaded about the disenfranchised who have chosen not to participate or contribute. The latter is not a feeling I want to cultivate in myself, and I definitely don't want to end up being someone who accepts being marginalized without a fight. It is not a healthy atmosphere for me.

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  7. Isn't it comforting to know that despite what fate has in store for us, we have the magic of flowers to lift our mood. Even if it's just for a little while.

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  8. Hi Lena, I hope that the temporary boost will be enough to get the ball rolling. Thanks for visiting.

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