San Francisco - Oakland Bay Bridge
From my Phonecam, January 2010
Due in part to the faltering economy and in part to bad decisions stemming from poor judgement and unreasonable goals, I am in a bit of a downward spiral at the moment. I have been running away from my problems by spending more time online, but it is time to start turning things around by doing what I always do in times of crisis: taking a step away from everyone and everything and into myself -- my violin, my guitar, my housemate's drums, my brain -- so I can regroup, assess my situation and dig myself out. I am not sure what I will find on the other side, but I know that I need to get through on my own. The difference this time is that I wish I did have someone to lean on. I hope that during my search within myself I do not lose what means the most to me.
I know it's not a lot of comfort to know that so many are going thru the same thing because of the faltering economy and bad decisions, but it is true. As you know, one of my 'wants' for 2010 is to step away from the computer a bit, as I, too, have a tendency to escape thru the internet. My biggest bad decision the last decade is to NOT make decisions! My biggest problem is that I'm comfortable in my niche, but feel that I SHOULDN'T be, that I SHOULD WANT to change...but don't. Well, anyway, I hope by stepping away you will have clarity, just don't step away completely as I have added you to my blog list!
ReplyDeleteI have a question. I've just realized that you're in France. We had an exchange student in our home back in the 1990s, and I've recently begun to wonder what happened to her. I typed her name in google, and checked facebook, but can't seem to get a handle on how to contact her. There's an Alexandra Grillet who looks like her, but I can't get the computer to spit out the information I need to contact her. Would you have any suggestions?
Hm, your photo: at first glance it looks like fireworks in the sky - at second glance it's raindrops on the windshield ... perfect metaphor for life: sometimes you get the fireworks, sometimes the raindrops.
ReplyDeleteRegarding your first paragraph: I am more with Tennyson: to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield. I think Ulysses did not strive for the easy attainable.
All the best!
I'll still be around, Linda, just not so much. I should update my profile -- I moved back home to California in August! Do you know which city, département or région Alexandra is from? You could try a phone directory search on pagesjaune.fr. Even if you can't find her directly, you might be able to find a relative (I can help translate to French if you need to write a letter). Was the photo on a social networking site? You might be able to register on the site and send a message that way, as well.
ReplyDeleteMost of the time, Martina, you get the muck between the fireworks and the raindrops. Ulysses may have aimed for long shots, but his goals were still attainable. Perhaps I need to lower my sights a bit.
Take care!
ReplyDeleteThanks! :)
ReplyDeleteChère Kobico,
ReplyDeleteC'est l'impatience qui mine ton moral. l'important n'est pas de réussir quelque chose, mais c'est d'essayer et essayer et essayer encore. L'homme ne peut grandir que par ses essais.
Je t'invite à lire le billet suivant sur:
http://fr.articlesbase.com/article_1459846.html
Soyez Prêt À Grandir: " Vous avez besoin de grandir L’homme fait partie de la nature et il est poussé intérieurement par la même force : la force de l’évolution. Cette force est celle qui permet aux plantes de pousser, aux arbres de grandir, aux fleurs de s’épanouir et elle est également en vous. "
C'est vrai, Gelisa. Merci de l'entrée et de ton soutenir. Je n'ai que besoin de trouver ma force!
ReplyDeleteWork on reaching attainable goals and use them as a step ladder, and who knows, you might be able to reach those heretofore "unattainable" goals someday. As for having people to lean on, you may be underestimating the warmth, empathy, and concern (and even useful advice, perhaps)your blogging friends have for you.
ReplyDeleteYou've got a point there. Thanks, Tim :)
ReplyDeleteThis economy has most everyone in a slump. I, too, have been re-evaluating my situation and trying to decide what direction I need to go in. In the past, I've had someone to lean on and this time, it is up to me. I didn't think this is where I would be at this point in my life, but here I am. Keep your head up! I spent most of the day yesterday counting my blessings. It helped to ward off these winter blues!
ReplyDeleteCounting one's blessings is a pursuit that can be so easy to forget when things get a bit beyond one's control. Thanks for the reminder, MAWB.
ReplyDeleteSounds like all those creative things you are doing will garner you a new step in your journey. Take good care of yourself and let us know how it goes.
ReplyDeleteNot that I plan to go on tour anytime soon (or ever), but my guitar skills are improving! Thanks for stopping by, Julie.
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteI just stopped by to say thanks for visiting my blog and commenting on my Henrietta Lacks post, and, OMG, I feel like this could be ME! "...I am in a bit of a downward spiral at the moment. I have been running away from my problems by spending more time online, but it is time to start turning things around by doing what I always do in times of crisis: taking a step away from everyone and everything and into myself...I am not sure what I will find on the other side, but I know that I need to get through on my own. The difference this time is that I wish I did have someone to lean on. I hope that during my search within myself I do not lose what means the most to me." My heart goes out to you, because I understand so well; here's to both of us that the days ahead bring healing and good spirits!
Thank you, Ethelmae. Here's to all of us :)
ReplyDelete